And so that night, when I went to the beach....I wanted to do something I' ve been  craving for since a long time...just lying down on the sand...was hesitant coz I become very conscious of people around staring at me...but then...That day it was like an urgency...I just spread myself on sand...facing the moon...and the stars scattered across the sky....Havent seen anything as beautiful and blissful than this...it reminded me of my childhood...when we could sleep on the terrace...

It was such a lovely feeling...black heaven studded with sparkling dots spread like a tent over me...till oblivion...and the sound of waves splashing over my feet...and that time i did not care whether I would soil my clothes...or something like that...It was just me and the sky...it was like the only thing I had ever wanted...amazing feeling...very peaceful...there was nothing else that I wanted from life that very moment...It was like  meditation...It brought back my peace of mind...

The kid outside Gloria Jeans

We all dream too big...we have never ending wish-lists and desires...and as one gets accomplished...another gets added to the list...till eternity...I have always been a spendthrift...I spend like crazies...shopping for useless stuff which I’ll never ever use...and one fine day I realize that this particular piece of clothing has been rotting in my wardrobe since ages and I am not going to wear it ever again so I throw it off..And I love to go and gossip and bako-fy in cafes and all such places..So there's no more proof needed I spend more than required...even after getting belted by Dad..And I am sure most of us from our generation do that...

So today when I was hopping into a rick just after midnight after lazing in a coffee shop and after munching on a muffin which I would curse in the morning when I jog and watch by bulging tummy….suddenly this small kid around 7 years of age came from nowhere and started pleading…Didi please give me something to eat…and I didn’t know how to react….I checked my wallet for a 10 Re note…none…I didn’t want to ask for money to give to the kid from my friend…so we ignored the kid and we left…and that kid kept pleading till I was in the earshot and I was reminded of my kid brother…I felt my eyes watering but I didn’t want N (roomie) to notice…so we came back and I decided I wanted to get something for him…all the shops were closed..So I reverted the auto in spite of N yelling at me (its late, all shops are closed bla bla)...I found a small cigarette shop about to be closed and grabbed to glucose biscuits and went back to the coffee shop but the kid wasn’t there…A security guard was watching…he called me and said that the kid lived in a slum close to the place and roamed around there itself….I was disappointed I couldn’t hand over those biscuits to the child…But the guard assured me he would give it to him….

And so I came back….I really didn’t know why I felt so much like weeping and what struck me so hard…In a place like Mumbai one is bound to come across hundreds of kids everyday begging at the signals, outside colleges, temples, offices etc and yet  I mostly ignore them…But today I had to stop myself from crying in the auto in front of my friend…I am still not very happy…just hoping that the kid gets those biscuits…even if he wasn’t hungry and was lying…even if my other friend who was there at the same time told me just now that she had bought him a packet of chips…what good will a kid do with a packet of biscuits…he would probably feed someone in his family…and that’s the reason I was talking shit about our wants  in the beginning…poor kiddos there are no wish-lists for them…they strive for a Re 5 packet of biscuit…

I thank God for blessing me with who all I have around me to take care of me and for the fact that I am in a family effluent enough to fulfill my needs and unnecessary wants too sometimes…But it is so disheartening to see kids who should be getting education and playing are actually begging for a mouthful…okie I know it’s too much of a lecture but I intend to do something so that I never feel handicapped when I come across such kids…I should be able to help them..At least for now…I should stop wasting money….and think of the little kid who reminded me of my brother…

When my hero says goodbye to the 'Blue' jersey....

              Modesty to the core, honesty so vulnerably exposed on his face and down to earth simplicity, this is Rahul Dravid all about. I have always been a fervent admirer of The Wall, since his debut, initially charmed by his looks and personality (all the girls have been ;))...slowly when I began to follow the game (mostly the reason was to watch Dravid playing...:P ) I developed affinity for the sport and I could sit and discuss the nitty-gritties of the game with my dad...:) 8)

        With fabulous records to look back at, and leaving the best part of his career behind him, this gem of a person does not have any qualms. His temperament and his desire to learn and be better with every game has toughened him and honed to be one of the best cricketers of all times. If I get into details then I am also talking about his impeccable technique which has won him admiration from the legends of the sport. 

        He has at times taken up the role of wicket-keeper, sometimes asked to open, then in and out of the one day team when nobody else had been willing to put up his hand up, the guy has never felt cheesed off it seems. Even then, when the going gets tough, Rahul Dravid seems to get going better than everybody else. Thanks to his attributes-Patience, Concentration, Application, Technique bleh bleh...

        Keeping cricket aside, Dravid is an introvert but very optimistic, he is a voracious reader and loves travelling. In spite of  his memorable performances, the ones close to his heart are his debut at the Lords and unbeatable 148 at Johannesburg.

        Dravid, after all the setting up of unbeatable records and contributing much to the game has earned much criticism which he did not deserve. But for me, he is the hero, inspiring with his determination and he surely resides in the hearts of his fans for whom he is larger than life

The fabulous four of our times....:)

A date with rain...

Its 5:30 in the evening and by the look of the sky it seems it s going to rain crazily. It’s been my second stay in Bangalore and the weather here never fails to mesmerize me by its charm. Every evening, the small droplets shower on the earth, soaking them in, giving out a heavenly fragrance which is more fulfilling than any known sensation of pleasure.

So I stand in the balcony, sipping hot coffee, taking in the beauty of the serene beauty around me, feeling the joy of every leaf as it baths in the water from heavens, listening to the music of joyous grass when it hungrily gulps the rain.

 

I can smell green, I can smell damp and I can smell the infinitely sweet soil and the flowers swinging with rain.

They say idleness is the biggest crime, but I totally enjoy committing it today, the weather and the surroundings being the perfect ingredients and adding to the setup.

I chat a bit, gossip a bit, and catch up with long lost friends on phone. All the while this moist fragrance of water lingers around me, compels me to take a walk and to bruise the soaked soil under my feet.

So I take my umbrella, and slowly climb down the stairs, my footsteps drowned in the thundering noise outside. It is around 10 at night, the empty damp road seems darker in the streetlamp. It is parallel to the main road and is mainly residential, canopied with flowering trees, creepers and bushes, which make it look murkier in the dark. The downpour has changed into a sporadic drizzling.

I try to avoid the puddles which flash here and there in rare patches of light and take a sigh of relief, successfully avoiding stepping into one, when suddenly a hairy stray dog comes and shakes off the water on me. By the time I shirk it away, a car splashes into the same puddle and a fraction later I am covered with muddy water. And I really don’t mind. For once, I want to be a part of this magic.

The scents are getting headier now; I start to find its source. At a distance I see a tree drowning under the weight of its lovely white curious looking flowers. I don’t know which flower it is.  Never seen it before. It emanates a fragrance so heavy that my head starts spinning. It’s intensely sweet, as if passionately expressing its love for the rains. Suddenly I see a lightening, and then it merges with a sound of thunder. I quicken and retrace my steps, hurrying   towards the house. But the rains come down as if the skies have exploded .I can taste the rain on my lips, slowly gulping the water while struggling to make my way back. Looks like it will rain all night.

There is a strange chucking sound in my window. I have been hearing it since last 3-4 days, especially at night after 11. I curiously yet cautiously flash torch on the wire mesh and find a small lump of hay and dried grass. On closer   inspection I find a small fur ball in it. Suddenly there is a swift motion and the furry ball runs away. It has a bushy tail. All the while I thought it was a bird. But it is a baby squirrel apparently abandoned by its mother. What can be done for it will be decided tomorrow morning.  Its time for a steaming cup of caramel bournvita and a deep long sleep.

 

What a date it has been, with the rain and the nature at its best. One doesn’t have to go out searching for the proximity with nature. It is very much there. Just find out some time.

Oh my God, this stupid but poor lonely squirrel is making weird sounds now and then and scaring the hell out of me. Somethings to be done tomorrow....

Blue all the way!!!

        I AM truly blessed to have witnessed this precious moment. What a proud Indian I am today. I cannot stop jumping with joy.  My eyes are wet but I cannot stop smiling; there are no words which can describe how I am feeling right now.  I have screamed so much that my throat is sore… We have won the most coveted tournament- World Cup humara hai….

        The streets are thronging with people dancing, holding the Tri-color, celebrating with dhol and bhangra. I have had the flavor of Mumbai’s ‘the city never sleeps’ attitude, but today, madness is the only word that flashes into my mind. People have gone insane, forget holi and diwali…this is THE national celebration…2^nd April 2011 will be remembered for years to come… Crazy how this game unites the nation…It indeed is the biggest religion…Cheers to Dhoni and his brigade for paving the path to glory.

        I had started doubting the caliber of the team when Kohli was shown the way to the pavilion…but Gambhir was the man…he brought the victory to our doorsteps and Dhoni and Yuvraj made sure it doesn’t go anywhere… Every single moment of the match has been a mind boggling experience today…I almost bit my fingers off when chewing nails every time a catch was missed, a boundary was stopped…oooh !!! What an excitement….pheww!!!! The winning shot worked like a trigger…the crowd burst into jubilation,  1.2 billion Indians crying with joy….all of whom had been desperately praying for one single cause…dream of the billion…and it has come true…:) :)

We have rocked all the way!!!! Yayyyyy!!!

Ode to kitty...

That way look, my infant, lo!
What a pretty baby-show!
See the kitten on the wall,
sporting with the leaves that fall.
Withered leaves - one - two and three
from the lofty elder tree.
Though the calm and frosty air,
of this morning bright and fair.
Eddying round and round they sink,
softly, slowly; one might think.
From the motions that are made,
every little leaf conveyed
Sylph or Faery hither tending,
to this lower world descending.
Each invisible and mute,
in his wavering parachute.

But the Kitten, how she starts,
crouches, stretches, paws, and darts!
First at one, and then its fellow,
just as light and just as yellow.
There are many now - now one,
now they stop and there are none:
What intenseness of desire,
in her upward eye of fire!
With a tiger-leap half-way,
now she meets the coming prey.
lets it go as fast, and then;
Has it in her power again.
Now she works with three or four,
like an Indian conjuror;
quick as he in feats of art,
far beyond in joy of heart.
Where her antics played in the eye,
of a thousand standers-by,
clapping hands with shout and stare,
what would little Tabby care!
For the plaudits of the crowd?
Over happy to be proud,
over wealthy in the treasure
of her exceeding pleasure!

                                      
                                        -William Wordsworth

What a graceful creature feline is...furry, soft pawed, velvet eared, bush tailed...and she has the eyes of the wildest colors possible...the musical purr is worth dying for....Irrespective of all shapes and sizes...the first love of a kitty has always been cupboards......if she absconding on a wintry evening...search your closets in and out...and there she would be...happy cuddled in your favorite pullover, dead asleep....Se needs the warmest of the places in the winters just like the coolest of all in the summers...And she ll show you her love by soft purring...rubbing her whiskers to your cheek...cuddling and clinging around your feet...

Ever seen a cat walking? The sensual walk...The CAT WALK...gracefully moving her body...she looks like a miniature cheetah...

Some cats are lazy
while other cats
can be quite frisky. There are cats that are true
and
some that can be quite rude.
There are some cats who are very keen
and there are others who you hardly see.
There are cute cats,
and some ugly ones,
some sweet cats
and, some mean ones.
But...
one thing all cats
have in common is
that they are free to
do what they please.

il mio nouvo amore

        Mumbai….the very name paints a picture full of crowd, chaos, dirt, confusion, commotion, stench…urghh…I felt like turning my back and running away when I had stepped out of the Chhatrapati Shivaji airport into the Mumbaiii street for the first time last June…I had hated this place to the core of my heart….and was very persistent on my justifications of the same… every moment kept reminding me of the sweet memories of the place I where I spent amazing three years of my life with the most amazing people…When my friends used to chant the great old phrase ‘Time is a big healer’ I used to mutter ‘Do you have the slightest clue what I have been going through??’ And it continued with me crying out my heart on my pillow every night and praying desperately every morning that things would somehow turn out to be the way I wanted them to be…I had developed dark circles, and my hair had graying alarmingly…and falling too…I had lost all interest in everything around me…my classmates, classes, my hostel mates…I was probably stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time...

 

        The sea appeared the most revolting thing here…I was sick of the dirty grey gloomy ocean…It seemed to be mocking at me and threatening me to pull away the remaining signs of sanity and my urge to be happy again…The black waters at night whispered things I dreaded the most… I was scared of changes…People and places and things changing around me…and wanting me to do the same…pulling away my priceless possessions…I didn’t want to...I was not ready to come out of the dreamy world I had painted on my own and believed so ardently that what I wished would be true… 

        But surely with substantial time and good friends, the deepest wounds heal…maybe not completely…the scars do remain…and so I believe I am healing…I love my friends here…have started going out…exploring places…relishing good food…And after all this I have realized that there are people who love me for what I am…I have started doing things that I love to do…sketching, painting, reading, writing…and among all this…I have found a new love….running….along the waters….Strange it may sound…but I love running along the sea as much as I used to hate it when I came here….

                 

        Every morning before sunrise…I feel an urgency to be there…there’s a strange need…to feel that moment and witness that magnificence of the great blue water body…the only sound that soothes me apart from my heartbeat is the sound of the waves leaping at my feet…the cold chilly breeze caresses me and carries me to a state of bliss when I run against it…it rubs against my face harshly...bringing tears to my eyes.…my nose becomes cold…but the savoir faire wants me to be the spectator during the entire performance...the blissful memory remains with me the entire day…and makes me wait restlessly for the next morning.....those two hours are the most soothing time when I get to spend time with myself…The sea swallows all my pains...and makes me feel the presence and the power of The Almighty...

        The change of color schemes mesmerizes me…changing from gray pink to slight strokes of violent orange…nothing more  breathtaking like it…as the sun rises…it seems as if some ones slowly pouring the blue color into the ocean…the endless blue shimmer stretches far into the oblivion...makes me feel blessed...

        The happy people around…kids running here and there…there’s so much to see and know rather than brooding over the past…the sea seems to be hinting me this…all looks like an enchantment…a magic spell maybe…like it will vanish with a swish of a wand…then the sun comes up…with the moon’s last struggle for survival…competing opposite each other….and I am completely spellbound by the grandeur of nature…The majestic mild yet foaming Arabian at the sunrise is my newfound love….